Politics, the Final Frontier...
It's that time again. Time to trudge out to the polls and take part in that little slice of democratic tradition we like to call voting. But never punch-out those chads without first doing a bit of background research. This year make an informed choice by checking out these exclusive statements from both candidates, courtesy of Daily Monotony's crack political correspondents embedded in both of these exciting candidate's campaigns:
"You all know my background. I served with distinction as Transporter Chief aboard the glory days of the Enterprise D and count Captain Pickard as a personal friend. Since I've transferred to DS9 I've helped fend of the station and the Federation from attacks by the Cardi's, the Klingon Empire and the Dominion. If that doesn't qualify as foreign policy experience, I don't know what does. Me and my man Bashir here promise to continue fighting for the freedoms of sentients across the Federation from whatever strange new life wants to turn us all into mindless drones or bits of plasma residue. Vote O'brien, and vote for defiance you can believe in. And I'm not trying to be funny, but my opponent has to be like three-hundred years old."
-Miles O'brien
" Truth is I'm not a soldier, I'm not a starship captain, hell, I'm not even a politician. I'm just a simple country doctor who's learned a thing or two crusin around the galaxy in tin can at the speed of light. Now my opponent might charm you with all that talk about phase inverters and tachyon detection mumbo jumbo, and how he'll fight off every green skinned son-of-a-bitch that shakes a phaser at us, but you know what, the only way we keep this quadrant safe is by putting it first and playing it safe. You go tip-toeing through every wormhole and time-anomaly you see, and you bet your life you'll bring some new tentacled terror down on us. We've got enough to deal with in our home, and this team of simple doctors knows few things about fixin' what can't be fixed. Vote McCoy, and put Quadrant First."
- Leonard "Bones" McCoy
Happy Voting!