Unveiling Daily Monotony's New Rating System
We at Daily Monotony are committed to bringing you our views on the ever flowing stream of entertainment monotony. However, we also understand that the average blog reader values their time and that despite our award winningly creative titles, it isn't always easy to divine from our paragraphs of prose the true intent of our ratiocinative ramblings. I present the previous phrase as proof. So it's time to introduce a quick and easy way translate our verbal verdict into visual verisimilitude: Pictures Ratings!!
Rating #1: Le Crappe
The F's, the bottom of the barrel, the embarrassing, the avoidable, le crappe du crappe, enough to make a grown Frenchman cry. Receiving this rating means that you have done your best to make us hate that which we love, entertainment. It's important to note that there are some fairly entertaining "bad" moves and games. Receiving this rating means it's not one of them.
Examples: The Happening, Indiana Jones IV
Rating #2: Meh
The D's and C's, the forgettable but not quite bad enough to inspire vitriol or acts of violence. Games or movies that receive this rating are those titles that you instantly forget until you see it on ABC Family five years later or in the bargain bin for two bucks at your local Gamestop.
Examples: Too Human, The Spirit
Rating #3: That'll do
The B's, satisfying, time well spent, but maybe not quite life changing, these movies or games will leave you at least smirking, with a 50 percent chance of scattered grinning. Probably worthy of a Netflix or rent, and occasional worthy of the trip to a theatre or laying done some dinero at Best Buy.
Example: In Bruges, Mass Effect
Rating #4: Excellent
The A's, true pieces of art, ridiculously rad, those titles you can't stop talking about to the chagrin of your co-workers. These are the pieces of entertainment that if they were president, you'd take a bullet for them. I tend to be a little thick with dolling out top honors, just ask anyone about my "best of all time" lists, but I guarentee that winners of this rating you will be remiss to miss.
Example: Braid, Wall-e
So be on the look out in future reviews, at least from Dustin (aka me), for the visual verdict at the bottom of the article. Of course, failing to read our pulitzer worthy enscriptions which eminate from a divine muse through which elignment flows like tears from the sun eliciting nacent sympathies and existential bliss...well...oh come on, just read the reviews, too!