Vitamin C-inema

Movies to watch when you've got the sniffles

As I awoke this morning I found that my throat and lungs had been beaten and battered by a mean strain of streptococcus just out on parole after doing a 5 year stretch for criminal mucus generation.  As I poured the OJ and warmed up the chicken noodle, I realized that despite their nearly ubiquitous existence in the "mom school of homeopathic medicine," no one ever gives due credit to that big pile of VHS tapes your mom brought home from blockbuster when you got to stay home from school.  Simple, easy to watch, and as good a healer as the L-enantiomer of ascorbic acid, here's some of my favorite "comfort films" that are guaranteed to clear up those airways and save you at least one package of Halls.

Now before you start getting indignant on me, let me preface this by saying not all of these are what you would call "great" movies, just like I wouldn't exactly call Kraft Mac'N'Cheese "gourmet cuisine," but the point of these films, just like a steaming bowl of macoroni and orange powder, is to harken back to a younger and more innocent time, thus scientifically amplifying their theraputic index...no really...

Groundhog Day

Maybe the quintessential "at home sick" movie, not mention one of the best Bill Murray movies ever made, Groundhog Day was a staple of my childhood sick days.  Not only is it funny and a charming commentary on an endless litany of philosophical concepts, but its endearing message can leave you with a smile on your face no matter how many chicken pox incessantly torture you with the urge to itch.

If you're looking to enjoy this classic on the rocks with twist, check out Slashfilm's audio commentary with actor Stephen Tobolowsky (the guy who plays Ned Ryerson) and queue it up with the Netflix instant watch version of this film.

Flight of the Navigator

This had to be hands down my favorite movie growing up as a child.  So much so that watching it recently, I was still quoting lines of dialogue that had be etched into my temporal lobe from repeated exposure.

While this is obviously a "children's film" this movie really does have it all: 80's chic, a 20-year-old Sarah Jessica Parker, New Coca-Cola jokes (gotta be really 80s to get that), and the voice of Paul Reubens (Pee-Wee Herman) before he was caught choking the chicken in the back of theatre at a skin flick.  Not to mention, I'm pretty sure the spaceship in this movie is the sexiest thing since the original NCC 1701.

Jim Varney Movies

Ok, ok, I know what you are going to say, but honestly, nothing says "comfort film" like a classic Jim Varney Ernest movie.  In retrospect, you have to admire the genius of the Varney's work.  Before Tyler Perry invented Madea and long before "Git-R-done" made blue collar comedy fashionable, Ernest P. Worrel set the stage for a madcap admixture of redneck humor and physical hijinks which made the phrase "KnowwhatImean, Vern?" practically canon in our family's personal vernacular.

I'm not saying all of Varney's adventures with this character were resounding successes, but I'd personally rank watching Ernest Goes to Jail, Ernest Goes to Camp, and Ernest Saves Christmas amongst some of the most beloved childhood memories I have.  What better choice for a moving picture panacea, know what I mean?

Sneakers

This very well may have been the first PG-13 movie I ever watched, and while my parents refused to own it for the rather salacious scene between the buxom Dr. Elena Rhyzkov and the brilliant mathematician Dr. Gunter Janek, they were always more than willing to stand by on fast forward when I was home with a cough.  

I really don't think this movie gets enough appreciation for being one of the best caper movies of the 90s, with an all-star cast rivaling that of any Ocean movie.  With just enough suspense and just enough pseudo science, this movie still sets the bar for techno thrillers in this critics mind.  I'd also recommend watching it young as you will innocently glance over the overt and mildly annoying political tones in this film.

And, I mean, how else was I supposed to learn that they produce a braille version of Playboy?

Muppet Treasure Island

"When I was just a lad, looking for my true vocation, my father said, 'Now son this choice deservers deliberation.' Though you could be a doctor, or perhaps a financeer, my boy why not consider a more challenging career!"

It stagers me to hear some "supposed Muppet fans" say they didn't like this movie, as next to the original Jim Henson helmed Muppet Movie, this ranks, at least to true Muppet fans, as the height of Muppet fiction.  I mean it's got Tim Curry playing Long John Silver, a pirate theme written by Hans Zimmer that's infinitely better than his "of the Caribbean" variety, and some of the best songs ever written for Muppet film.

This movie is guaranteed to put the wind back in you sails and cure any cabin fever that might be ailing you.  Now off to Zanzibar to meet the Zanzibarbarians and their exploding wigs of death!

Sidekicks

So being born in '85, I missed out on the whole "Karate Kid" craze.  But fortunately, thanks to a happy misfortune at the dollar theatre (remember we used to have those?) Sidekicks filled my childhood requisite for Kung Fu coming of age stories, sorry Three Ninjas.

So briefly, we went to the theatre to see the animated move An American Tail: Fievel Goes West.  But alas, when we got to theatre, we found it had sold out.  However, thanks to a sharp notice by my Mom, there was another film playing that looked like it would fit the bill, a Chuck Norris movie starring Jonathan Brandis that just happened to have been filmed in our backyard of Houston, TX.  What an amazing find.

The movie is a hilarious romp through young Barry Gabrewski's over active imagination that sees him falling into imaginary escapades with martial arts legend Chuck Norris.  Including a hilarious performance by Joe Piscopo as an arrogant and amusingly insidious karate instructor (from which I'm confidant Rex Kwan Do was conceived), it's nearly criminal that this film is impossible to find on DVD.  There is so much childhood love wrapped around this movie that even despite its paltry 3.9 stars on IMDB, I would recommend this film in a ninja-speed heart beat.

Noticeably absent from this list are sever other classics I'd like to give a shout out to, but managed to miss the mark having received enough attention on their own merits.  But I would be remiss if I didn't also mention that pulling out any Indiana Jones film, Star Wars film, or Back to the Future film can never hurt on your road to a swift recovery.  But I think that goes without saying...though having just said it...oh, whatever.  I've got me some Sidekicks to watch!  Now where is that VHS player...

Leave a comment on what your favorite "sick day" movies were as a child or still are as a jaded and world-weary adult.

Comments

[SC Peters]

I had the flu last week and so spent many a day in bed watching old episodes of The Muppet Show and Lost. Not movies, but I think they ought to count. Kermit will make anyone feel better--laughter is the best medicine.