Nintendo E3 2009

Demo dearth and 90% Mario

Maybe I need to lay down some history before I start to rip into the only thing Sony and Microsoft fanboys will agree on for the next year, that Nintendo's press conference SUCKED.  Right.  History. So way back when I was but a wee lad, when all of gaming I knew was Reader Rabbit on a Macintosh, I was introduced to one of the most life changing inventions in the history of man: The Famicon, the NES, the Nintendo Entertainment System.  From that point on, with a few deviations into the PC world, Nintendo was my bread an butter.  I even remember with a tear in my eye, the day I purchased with my own hard earned cash an N64, having nagged the Toys'R'Us clerk to the point of him granting me console six days prior to its official launch.  I even own a Gamecube, and like everyone else in the world, own a Wii.

Right, credentials out, now to business.  WTF Nintendo?!?  For what feels like the Nth (tee hee) time in a row, Nintendo has walked out on to the stage, hands in their pockets, blabbed on for an hour, demoed nothing, and walked off with hundred dollar bills floating out of their knickers.  It's not like they had nothing to talk about, with annocuments for a 4 player competitive redux of the original Mario Bros. titled (imaginatively) New Super Mario Bros. for the Wii, a new full 3D Mario game, Super Mario Galaxy 2 (CAVEAT: only 90% of the levels are new?!?!), an exciting Metroid game in the works by Team Ninja (Ninja Gaiden series) called Metroid: Other M, as well as plenty of cool DS games like Zelda: Spirt Tracks and a new Mario and Luigi RPG.  Here's the kicker, despite some Wii Sports Resort demos, we got absolutely ZERO hands on demos at the conference.  Maybe that's all well and fine for the showroom audience, but for the millions of people watching and waiting expectantly on the interwebs, it's the Press Conference equivalent of Nintendo spitting in your face while robbing your shirt (just try and visualize that).  Sorry, a new heart monitor attachment just doesn't cut it as, appealing to fan base, Nintendo.

Reggie, if you actually "read the forums" as you say, you'd do well to consider making good next year.   Hit the jump for a video of the full press conference as well as my pithy disdains of the whole affair.

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